The Pud-ding…
Dear Tupperware people,
My sister, Misty Mustbey, placed an order with you on Saturday,
November 18th and was kind enough to have said order shipped
directly to me, because it was a gift. Will you look me up in your sytem?
My name is Treena. I have no last name. I’m kind of like Madonna,
but without all of the children’s books. (You should see me Vogue!!!!)
In any case, I was expecting the “Jell-o Ring” to arrive before
Thanksgiving (which much to my dismay, it obviously didn’t) and
now I’m worried that I won’t be receiving it before Christmas either!
Ho ho ho? Um… no. That’s right, [Tupperware] people… I still HAVEN’T
received the “Jell-o Ring” and have contacted your company via phone
several times. Well, once. But in my defense, I’ve emailed a bunch
and it’s like you’re just ignoring me.
To be frank, I have never witnessed such horrible customer service!
Well, except for that time the Denny’s in Glouster ran out of bacon.
Damn sausage pushers.
I’d like to move on from this entire debacle. This missing “Jell-o Ring” is
destroying my life; it’s interrupting my sleep
(read: causing nightmares), my work (my boss, Gill Rosby,
keeps doing Bill Cosby “Jell-o PUDDING” impersonations [Jackass])
and my television watching (I can’t concentrate and even cute
little Tootie and her roller skates can seem to get me out
of this Jell-o-less funk).
Quite simply, I CANNOT FUNCTION.
Please send me tracking details for the package.
Maybe I can speak with your postperson directly?
Or better yet, just refund my sister’s credit card
for the full amount plus a little something extra
for all of my pain and suffering. I believe Dr. Seaver
referred to it as “duress” on an episode of Growing Pains.
Thanks a lot.
And please get back to me.
(You can’t ignore me forever!)
Jell-o no mas,
Treena